Weekly Weigh In

Hmmm...where do I start? Okay...first off, I had a pretty good week. Not 100%, but pretty good. I lacked some exercise here and there, and honestly, didn't journal on the weekend (even though I felt I did REALLY good), and then there was my family reunion on Sunday, which well....ugh....that was hard. The hard part wasn't the "real" food, but the darn sweets! It's not something I typically have in the house, so when my boys asked for a cupcake, that meant I had to go up to that TABLE of goodies. I caved. Literally. I had almost a piece of everything! GULP! And unfortunately several of those damn persimmon pudding cookies! OUCH!

I didn't want to ruin all my hard work for the week with ONE lousy meal...so I wanted Monday to kick butt. I plan month menus to help stay on track, so I knew I could do it. Then side entrance Hunney, the PICKY eater of the family, the one who REFUSES to go out to eat and spend money on food like that - yes, he feels he doesn't get $10+ worth of food when we go out to eat, thanks to him being soooo stinking picky - he calls me at work, 4:00pm mind you, to ask if we should GO OUT to eat tonight. I believe I drop dead on the floor. "Mandie...are you there?". "uh...yeah, I'm here...OK...what do you want?!!!!!!". At this point I'm so excited, no cooking and clean up for me, eating OUT...oh my goodness what a flippin treat!!!! He says 2 scary words..."Olive Garden". My heart almost stops. The handful of times I've been to the OG I have only tried one thing...pathetic I know. But like I said, we NEVER go out to eat. So I instantly know what I'm going to have to get...the worst thing on the menu...the 1400 calorie dinner not including salad and breadsticks. I remember...weigh in tomorrow morning... ugh. But this day only comes once in a blue moon...so I cave. Why didn't I just order something HEALTHIER from the menu? I don't know...because I didn't have time to prepare?? Because I WANTED to indulge in that wonderful dish that I get very rarely....because it's a happy meal. Yea, it was wonderful...but I hated myself afterwards. The good thing is we went to Walmart and walked around for an hour grocery shopping and such. But it doesn't make up the 1400+ dinner I just swallowed. Yes, that's over my daily calorie LIMIT. Do you see the tears streaming down my face now?

The worst part...when Hunney knows how unhappy I am with the decision I made and says "well, you're going to have to determine what you want more Mandie. Staying where you're at, or losing the weight". Hmmm...really?! Are you sure? Because I'm not getting that dear!!! Somehow in the process of having our home flooded in June 2008, having to MOVE IN with my PARENTS, demolishing the old house and rebuilding...oh and let's include having to live with my parents and their family for 10 LONG months....and finally moving into our new home ...I've REGAINED...yes REGAINED 20'ish lbs, and honestly I'm STUCK. I can NOT get past this, and they won't budge. So remind me...you're just saying I have to decide WHAT I want more? Hmmm....okay, that's easy!

If only it were. Clearly I can see what I want...I can remember what it was like to be 16.4 lbs lighter (yes, I've lost a FEW from the 20)...and I want to taste that again, and move down even more. So why why why am I literally stuck here? UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have worked on goals, I'm meal planning, I'm journaling, I'm exercising (okay, not NEAR as much as I should, or was), but somewhere I must be lying to myself or something...because I'm STUCK.

Weigh in this morning.... 172.4 - a big fat maintain. I suppose I'm lucky for that, after that disgusting meal last night, and the craziness I went on those sweets on Sunday. So I'll smile and try again. It's all I can do, right?

Sigh...literally. At least the GAG challenge should be really challenging me this week. We get extra points for doing some new kind of exercise. That'll spice and shake things up a bit I suppose.

And that's what I did today during my lunch hour. After a couple of weeks of bbbrrrrrrr, cold, weather, it's warmed up a bit. So my workout bud and I went to a nearby park and ran ... drumroll.....OUTSIDE! Oh my goodness, with hills and everything! It was tough, but it was "easier". Running on the track in the gym, or even the treadmill literally wear me out. It's sooo boring. This though physically harder was much more pleasant and ...easier?! I loved it, and look forward to giving it another whirl.

This week I'm aiming for 500 extra exercise points for shaking things up. Hey, I just made a goal for myself. Maybe doing that will help get me refocused and get this weight moving a bit more. Not sure WHAT those differences are going to be...but I'm definitely going to try!!! Shoot, I may be able to get 700 points! Maybe I'll do a video, or take some pictures, but for sure I should be blogging about them!

Another change ... I'm going to stop counting calories. I know...don't faint, or start freaking out on me. If you've been looking at my journals, you'll see I count calories along with WW points. I'm going to just focus on WW points...for 1 month. Starting TODAY. It's worked sooo well for me in the past, I'm praying it will help me again.

One more spark ... I've slacked seriously on my Hundred(s) Challenges, and today I'm starting them again (well week 2 anyway) . I can do these during the Biggest Loser commercials tonight, so I have NO excuse.

I'm going to measure myself and quit focusing JUST on the scale. Maybe I'm stuck on that. I know when I was measuring myself last year (once/month), seeing inches lost was exciting. Not sure why I stopped?

Okay...I think that's enough for now ... you know how my ramblings get. Crazy confusion!