75 Hard - Goals - I am alive!

Never mind how long ago it was since my last post.  And you can go ahead and disregard the fact I'm making SLOW progress.  Progress is progress....

Finding the best platform for me isn't easy.  I've done Instagram, Facebook, and even the Connect on my WW app.  Yet, none of those make it easy for me to get my words out like blogging.  It's almost like a diary for me.  I know, blogging is probably a dying platform.  But until then, let me do it.

For starters, I did a thing.  I completed the #75Hard challenge created by Andy Frisella.  Every day there were tasks that had to be completed for 75 days.  And, if you notice it's not just the 75 day challenge, it's the 75 HARD.  

It was not easy.  

And I will admit, I was not "perfect".  BUT, I still consider that I COMPLETED it.  

2 workouts/day, follow a diet plan, drink a gallon of water, no cheat meals/no alcohol, daily progress picture, and 10 pages of reading (nonfiction).  

There were days I did not want to workout.  There were days I REALLY wanted a drink!  There were days I just wanted to call it quits and say SCREW IT...but I didn't.  I lost almost 13 pounds, but I gained much more than the loss.  I got back in the routine of working out daily, walking more than sitting, I drink water, I learned so much while reading.  I got my health back.  

The pandemic had not been my friend.  I gained literally the "Covid-19".  I was drinking daily.  My legs had started swelling at night.  My skin was dry and places like my knee caps were blackening.  I had heartburn DAILY.  My skin looked terrible, and I had acne like a teenager.  I couldn't sleep comfortably.  I just felt horrible.  Inside and out.  

Then someone I followed on Instagram kept talking about this 75Hard Challenge.  I could see her glowing.  Her reasons she listed, were ALL the reasons I needed to do this.  So, I asked my friend (who also is my BeachBody coach) if she was interested in doing it with me.  Surprisingly she was, so we DID IT!!!    

I am so thrilled to have my health back.  And to have regained the things I had slowly lost sight of....BONUS.  

Drinking my water, and eating the right foods for my body (HEALTHY FOODS) are a huge part of who I am and want for my family.  If I have the "I don't care" attitude, then what am I teaching them?  My body is the ONE thing I truly have control over.  What I do with it, what I put in it, how I treat it...these are all up to ME.  The weight loss was a benefit and the reason I wanted to do the 75Hard Challenge, but honestly just getting those healthy habits back in my life was my top priority!    

I plan to do it again, with some tweaks for ME, after the first of the year.  But for now, I'm just going to use the habits I have gained to get through the holidays, and the remainder of 2020.  I still have some hefty goals, so the habits I gained (relearned) will come in handy.  

With all that being said, I am coming up on the end of a Dietbet.  Not sure I will reach my goal, but I'm not giving up.  This is one of the reasons I decided to blog.  I need to write out my goals, so that I can hold myself accountable.  

My goals for this week (with my Dietbet ending on Sunday Nov 15th - which is ALSO my birthday):

• TRACK TRACK TRACK!  If you don't track, you don't know where you're screwing up! LOL
• Get 4 Blue Dots (WW)  It was my goal last week, and I Failed miserably
• Drink a gallon of water - I dropped down to 96oz...but I really do need the gallon
• MOVE MOVE MOVE - continue with my daily Beachbody workouts (Turbo Fire) 
• aim for 15k steps/day!

What about you - have any goals this week?

Weekend Days 2 -4 Updates

Weekends are tough. I know it, you know it...the key is to not let them get you down, try your hardest and just move forward when they are over. Preparing for them helps, but isn't always successful.

My weekend started out great. Football practice for my little guy didn't happen. I don't know if it wasn't scheduled or what, but that was the first kink in my plan. I had already decided to go walk the track while he was at practice. When we got there and no one was there I ALMOST talked myself out of walking. But then I was like, nope...starting the weekend off on the right foot, and I did it. Walked 2 miles while the boys ran around the football field.

Saturday I prepared a healthy breakfast to start the day off right. I did pretty good, and even planned my indulgences (snack and dinner). So I'm happy about that.

Sunday rolled around, woke up late so couldn't eat my healthy breakfast I had prepared Saturday. By the time I got around to lunch (1:30) I was STARVING. This is where it all went down the drain. But, the wonderful thing with WW (old points) is that I have flex points I can use. I used every single one yesterday. Means I have 3 days of being GOOD! I will still earn my AP to give me a few extras, but the key is to totally stay within my 22pts/day range! I CAN DO IT!! I want Thursday to come around and me be super happy with what the scale says!!! I know how to do this, I can do this!!!

Day 2 Friday
NUTRITION: 4pts
22pts/day - I used my AP's and a FP but still within! (25-2-1)- 1pt
Eat 7 - 10 freggis/day (7)- 1pt
Drink minimum of 80 oz h20 (100) - 1pt
Journal - 1pt

EXERCISE: 2pts
Workout ran laps at track and ran bleachers - 1pt
Earn enough AP to support healthy eating - 1pt

EXTRAS: 3pts
Get at least 7hrs sleep (7hrs) - 1pt
Blog regularly (Yep!) - 1pt
Email/Twitter/FB/Txt friends for support/accountability (Heather & Sarah) - 1pt

TOTAL: 9pts, didn't quite meet the goal, but still good.


Day 3 Saturday
NUTRITION: 4pts
22pts/day - I used my FP but still within! (37-15)- 1pt
Drink minimum of 80 oz h20 (85) - 1pt
Allow ONE PI Meal (ate cheeseburger and fries at the track) TWO snacks (homemade banana pudding) - 1pt
Journal - 1pt

EXERCISE: 0pts

EXTRAS: 2pts
Get at least 7hrs sleep (7hrs) - 1pt
Email/Twitter/FB/Txt friends for support/accountability (Heather & Sarah) - 1pt

TOTAL: 6pts


Day 4 Sunday
NUTRITION: 3pts
22pts/day - I used the rest of my FP but still within! (40-18)- 1pt
Drink minimum of 80 oz h20 (80) - 1pt
Journal - 1pt

EXERCISE: 0pts

EXTRAS: 2pts
Get at least 7hrs sleep (7hrs) - 1pt
Email/Twitter/FB/Txt friends for support/accountability (Heather & Sarah) - 1pt

TOTAL: 5pts


*Realization here, need to earn more points on the weekend...weekends are indeed tough. But to be successful I know I really need to tackle them head on!!!

Today, a new day...a fresh start...and I'm ready!

Today that stops

Every weigh day comes with dread because I know I haven't done my best. Today that stops. I managed to lose .2 lb, after a big 4lb gain last week. When I try and figure out what the heck is wrong with me, WHY, knowing how unhappy I am with my weight, I draw a blank. Today that stops. Weekends have always been the blame, but when the weigh day has changed to later in the week and you still have a crappy weigh in, weekends aren't the only things messing me up. Today that stops.

Today I restart Weight Watchers (the old points). In the past I have lost 75lbs. I'm up 10lbs from my lowest, and gradually that 10lbs has creeped on. I have been focusing on calories, using sparkpeople, making sure my protein intake has been good. Today though I will still use sparkpeople for support, encouragement, I will restart my paper journals for WW. IT WORKS for me!!! I don't know why the calorie counting DOES NOT...but it honestly just DOES NOT.

Today I make that commitment to change. I will still eat healthy clean foods, watch my protein intake, and exercise like I have been (and more)... but today I feel comfortable knowing I will succeed with WW.

Perfect 10 SW ~ 157.8
7/7/11 WI ~ 164 (BLAH)

LHAS Challenge Week 5 Check In

So I had to miss Week 4's check in last week. I was tending to a sick child at home, and had no internet access to check in. Another week has already flown by, and it is time to check in AGAIN. These weeks are really going by quick!!!!

I have a nice maintain this week. It's an actual loss, because last week I had a slight gain. So I'll take the little loss/maintain I got this week.

154.4 +/- 0

101 mins exercised total. Not nearly what I need!!!

Side note, I had to cancel with WW. It's not because I wanted to, but because I financially needed to. I have a lot of things going on now that I have to worry about and with the divorce, I just can't afford it. So, that's that for now!!!!

And the challenge starts!

* I'd like to note that I didn't notice this at first, but this post marks the 100th post of my blog! WOWOW!! I think that's pretty exciting. Should've given away something? But I didn't...maybe at a later time I'll do something*

HIya! I'm so pumped and ready for this LHAS challenge you all have no clue. Let me first say that I came kicking and screaming. Had it not been for my buddy Heather, I WOULD NOT be doing this. Seriously. So I do give her a HUGE HUG for pushing. And wouldn't you know it, I'm actually excited about doing it. I know that it's going to help me get over the hump.

Yesterday was a turning point for me. I know, Tuesday..isn't that weird. Usually it's like Sunday night, or even Monday morning...but for me...it was a Tuesday. I know my WW meeting had to do with that, as well as actually signing up for this challenge. At WW yesterday my leader said these 3 things.

Desire - Yes, we ALL have the desire to lose the weight and be healthy and yeah, LOOK GOOD
Discipline - Uh...what? This is what I have been totally struggling with...but not anymore!
_________
DELIGHT - I know that by actually having the discipline is going to create this...and I WANT it!!!!

That set the mood right there. I left my meeting feeling empowered and ready!!! And then I signed up for the challenge. Doing so made me take a look at what I've been lacking. Yeah, exercise. And why??? I mean, when I exercise I LOVE how I look and feel. Actually the feeling can not be beat, and when I talk to people about it (non-exercisers) they think I'm nuts. LOL! I know that feeling too. But seriously, the endorphins it creates, and the high I get from feeling muscle is unbeatable.

I then sat down and watched the oh, last half of Biggest Loser last night. I haven't seen it in weeks. I was surprised at how much these contestants had changed. And yeah, I saw them working out and it made me want to!!! I'm actually EXCITED to start again. Weird!!!

It was said on the show "celebrate the small victories". I've not been doing that. Instead I've been looking at the whole picture, and not seeing ANY victories. I'm seeing all these failures. So last night I celebrated NOT eating cookie dough. :) Hey, it's a start people...give me a break! And I admit, I REALLY wanted to. But I kept thinking about the DESIRE + DISCIPLINE = DELIGHT...and how I needed the discipline. And then that created a small victory for me! YAY!!!! I'm officially on my way.

Okay, lots of gibber there...forgive me.....can you tell it's been awhile since the wheels were turning?! LOL!

My goal for the challenge is to get CLOSE to goal, if not there. I know...kinda steep, but I need that discipline. I have 16 weeks...and even at 1lb/week that puts me at 138.6, soooo stinking close to goal (130). So I'm going to try REALLY hard. 16lbs is my goal :)

Today I had to take a picture of me weighing in. I did it at work, since I've banned the scales at home (they are actually at work!). And I went into the Ladies restroom to take a picture. So ya'll ready? I'm not! LOL!

Scale shot - 154.6

And oh Lordy....full body pictures (sorry they are just in my work outfit)

Guess Who?!

Yep...I've totally been MIA! Can you believe it? I have no excuse, NONE. I thought I was doing really good too...totally was on track and then the inevitable happened - you know, life! I won't go into details, but it's female stuff, emotions = comfort eating.

With that being said, back to the old me...TODAY. I know you probably get tired of hearing this, but hey...I'll say it as many times as I have to. I MUST conquer this, get over that hurdle, cross the FINISH LINE!

Didn't make it to Weight Watchers today due to snow and being lazy. It's probably a good thing considering I'm certain I gained. Oh and last week I got an undeserved maintain. Okay...I know a maintain is better than a gain, but damn...I get tired of working my butt off and for NOTHING. So that was discouraging and started that snowball effect. But...today is new, the week is new...and I'm ready (yes this is positive self talk).

Here are my weekly goals :)


What I want to accomplish this week:

• Track every single day!
  
• Exercise 5 days
  
• Finish my weekly tasks for work
  
• Daily vitamin
• Be prepared for the Hunney's birthday on Wed. Decide what I want more - cake or salsa/chips and only have ONE.
  
• Read 1 day
• Stairs at work 3 times ONE day
• Blog 3 times

Weekly Goals (will I ever get more creative with the titles?)

Today I did something I haven't done in nearly 2 years.... I went to spin class! Yay me! Well I made it...and survived. At the LAST minute I almost backed out and didn't go...coming up with every excuse in the book (coworker didn't want to go, it's COLD outside, it was snowing, etc etc). BUT, I went and got dressed and just did it. When I got there, I was early...wanted to be...because you have to set up your bike to fit your needs, and I couldn't remember exactly where it was comfy for me. The class was locked and NO ONE was there. I thought... oh great, the class has been moved or worse...canceled. Then slowly everyone started showing up. If you've never been to a spin class...let me just say these people are die-hards! They go right to their business...usually without talking or smiling. I thought to myself "what have I got myself into!". I felt out of place for a brief moment, then remembered why I was there...for ME! Got my bike all set up and the music started. Fortunately (and I say this "lightly) it was HOT in the room, so the instructor couldn't work us to death! But I'll just say it was TOUGHER than TOUGH...and I again, LOVED every minute of it!!!!! I can't wait to hit up another one! They don't offer the classes at the most "convenient" times for me, so typically I can only go on a Saturday morning. But lately my Saturday's have been taking care of the kids as Hunney has been doing another job. So, we'll see when I get to do another one.

Tonight I'll keep up with my commitment to the 30 Day Shred. I think I'm on day 9, and yesterday was the first day I did it on level 2. I STILL can not believe how much harder level 2 was than level 1. YEOWCH! But, I love the workout. I like that it splits it up into 3 sets. That makes it seem like there is an end to come! Okay, call me silly if ya want.

I told ya'll I rejoined WW's on Tuesday...and we discussed Tracking and the importance of it. It's funny that this was what the topic was, because just the week before I started tracking again. For me, it really makes the world of difference. When I don't track, I'm off...and WAY off. They gave the statistic that when you don't track, you're 500 - 1000 calories higher than what you think. I totally believe that. And as a side note, I've figured out that I tend to NOT track, when I'm going off track. That made last week kind of hard. With New Year's thrown in there, the Hunney and I went out to dinner at the Olive Garden (we very rarely go out to eat). I had a plan, ordering off the kids menu, and choosing healthy foods. That went out the window as soon as we got there. I mean I made BETTER choices, but not exactly the best. Anyway...back to the point here...I did NOT want to track, but I made myself. Sure, I was OVER in my points...and honestly most days, and even over my flex points....BUT...I tracked. That was a big thing for me. Tracking is SUPER important for me to succeed, and I know this. So, as usual, it will be a goal for me this week...and every week after!

Moving on to the fun part!

What I accomplished last week:
I hadn't sent any goals for myself...but I DID

• Tracked every single day - even though I wasn't perfect and didn't want to track!
  
• Exercised 6 days (2 times on one day!)
• Got the Christmas decorations down
• Planned the monthly menu

What I want to accomplish this week:

• Track every single day!
  
• Continue with the JM 30 day shred!
  
• Get 4 folders off my desk!
  
• Daily vitamin
• Get my herb garden going that the Hunney bought me last year at Christmas
• Work on my new recipe binder Mom bought me for Christmas
• Read 1 day
  

Weekly Weigh In and how did that happen?

In 2 weeks I have gained 9.2lbs. (Today's weigh in was 174.8) No exaggeration...I literally have gained nearly10lbs. Talk about disappointment. I have no excuse except laziness and gluttony. Okay, maybe some stress from the holidays somewhere in there, but come on Mandie...get a GRIP! What's bad is that I thought I did have a grip. I had a plan. I was ready. So what happened? I can give you no clear reason, and that is what worries me the most.

Anyone can lose weight. I've done it several times. But it takes learning what makes us fat (besides eating crap) and how we got there...and then CHANGING it. I suppose that is what brings me back to here. Gaining nearly 10lbs - again.

Let's rewind and see what happened, shall we?

The holiday's approached. At work we have one special event after another. Lunches here and there...which meant I had to miss workouts. And we all know that after you miss a workout or two, it's easier to say "nah, I can't go workout today, I've got such_and_such to do". Well, let's add the last minute shopping into that. So yeah, it was super easy to miss my lunch workouts to go shopping instead. Back to shopping,...stress that goes along with finding the PERFECT gift for so_and_so.

For my Big Boy's school party we decided to make cookies. I originally planned NO GOODIES were to be baked/made. Because honestly, WHY should they be? (I admit I'm a batter eater, and I knew it would only start trouble). That is clearly what happened. After 1 batch of cookies, Mommy decides to dip pretzels (LOTS of them) in chocolate and give away to neighbors, and for us to take to work, this also meant I got to nibble one right after another. Oh, more cookies! Yes, we need MORE cookies! The cut out kind, and what about everyone's favorite - chocolate chip?!! YES!!

It was decided Christmas Eve dinner would be at our house with my Brother-in-law and family. That meant I was cooking for 10 people. I wanted enough food, desserts and drinks. I got the bright idea to make cherry almond coffeecake (OH MY!) oh, and what about this new recipe I found for....gulp....FRENCH SILK PIE (now this is my ultimate favorite dessert).

I literally can go on and on with the food I indulged in, and why...but we all know it was because I got lazy. And as a friend pointed out (through herself) , I'm most certainly a "food addict". I literally stopped caring for a few days (weeks). I wanted to eat all my favorites...and not exercise. There was too much going on, and it's a feel good time of year, and I know food makes me FEEL GOOD. I'm a FOOD ADDICT!

Unfortunately now I'm paying the price. I'm disappointed, but determined. Can that be said in the same sentence? Today I am journaling, I even did the 30 day Shred (the Hunney got me it and 2 others for Christmas!) at lunch. I have a plan for dinner, and I'm ready to be on track again. I'm considering on rejoining WW, as it's free registration right now, and really $10/week isn't TOO bad. So...we'll see.

So, now...I'm working on new goals for the new year (not resolutions, just goals), and considering doing a pantry challenge. I also want to start focusing on more couponing and just how those gals get their pantry's so stockpiled! I need to start cutting more corners with groceries! SERIOUSLY!

Anyway...that's all for now. This is my letting it all out post...you know, another confessional. Let's just hope it's the last.

Thankfulness all around

Well, as much as I hated to do it...I have decided to take a REST day from exercise! I know, I know...BUT it's for a good cause - I can't walk people! My quads are killing me like never before. So, instead of killing myself with Step Class today, I decided to make it a rest day, and kill em again tomorrow.

*FYI - this is a VERY long read. And can be a little monotonous... so you have been forewarned :)*

So it hit me a little while ago, I've never really shared my true beginning story and why I'm so thankful that the light finally came on. Here it goes...with pictures and EVERYTHING!!!

All growing up I was never the skinny gal. I hated sports, and loved food. In high school I joined the guard with the band and was fairly active and actually started dieting (anyone remember that horrid Cabbage Soup Diet where you could only eat certain things on certain days?! UGH!).

After high school I got married, to the jerk (he doesn't even deserve a Capital letter). Let's just say that it was ABUSIVE verbally and physically. When I left him nearly a year later I had put on some poundage and still clearly remember him saying "you'll always be a fatass". Ugh. That was the start of a LONG 15 years of hell and weight issues. I will always remember how thankful I was for that day our divorce was final!!!

Let me also state that I don't remember numbers...I'm terrible like that. I'm not even 100% sure I weighed back then. As you can tell my memory is a blur when it comes to that time and thereafter. He screwed my head up pretty bad. I'm sure I can dig out my old Weight Watcher membership that would say, because after I split from the jerk, my Dad made a deal with me. He would pay for me to go to WW with him, as long as I lost. When I gained, I would have to pay that week. He also gave me the deal that when I hit goal weight he would buy me all new clothes.

Well, being 18, I didn't care enough I guess. I wanted to hang out with my friends and party and what-not. So that didn't last long. Never reached goal. Quite a bummer too! I sure would've loved NEW CLOTHES!

YEARS go by, of course my weight goes CRAZY and I'm "dieting" the whole time, but again never remembering numbers (I suspect 200's?). Enter new boyfriend. We fall in love, get engaged and I work on losing some weight for the wedding. I suspect I lost about 20lbs with WW'ers and working out (Gutts and Butts classes!). After the wedding, well...who cares anymore...right?

My Dad, Me, My Bro and My Mom (with their skinny genes)

New husband and I want to have a baby...so we start trying to conceive. Ugh...NO LUCK?! I do too much research and think we'll have to go the IVF route. I'm crushed, depression hits...and the weight really starts to pile on. My all time highest (not pregnant) was 222 (that I have written down) in 1999 and 2000.



I finally got pregnant using a fertility drug, but miscarried VERY early on. New husband and I start to have serious problems. I start focusing on myself and I start to lose weight again, using WW. Dropped about 40'ish lbs before realizing new husband is a drug addict and is arrested. Talk about eye opener. My whole world is turned UPSIDE down. We were buying our FIRST home, thanks from the help of my parents, and now he's turned out to be a jerk and a druggie?!!! WOWOW! As you can guess the weight starts to roll back on, up to 217 (that I can find written). New husband and I decide to divorce. Too much deceit was there and other issues. Again...thankful for the journey, but even more thankful for the end!

In 2002 I start down the road again, and manage to lose almost 45lbs! I am on FIRE and feel wonderful. Get a new HOT boyfriend (can we say boy toy) and down another road. Eventually I find out the boy toy is um...10 years YOUNGER than me. But I have already fallen in love with him. This becomes the start of the worst relationship...even worse than the jerk. VERY abusive kid who has some serious authority issues, not to mention lack of morals. WHY I stick with this toy for so long still is a question in my head. But I got down to my all-time new low of 167!!!



Wouldn't you know that losing all that weight, and uh...having a boy toy would make it so I got pregnant?!! WOWZA! But we lost that baby, and a few months down another pregnancy. You can bet between the abuse I went through (physical), the depression from suffering 3 miscarriages and beginning to think I will never have children started taking a toll on me. I regain and lose the same oh 20lbs for some time. And then finally, I get pregnant again. This time I deliver (4/28/05) a healthy and happy bouncing baby boy (weight at delivery 233!). He became EVERYTHING to me. I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am that God decided I could be this beautiful baby boy's Momma!!!



The AH HA moment finally hit me. This kiddo will be looking up to me, learning from me, and depending on ME. 8 months into his life I kick the boy toy out and decide we are MUCH better without him in our lives. There is something wrong with a guy if he thinks it's okay to beat the sh*t out the Momma while holding the innocent little baby and the baby is screaming about it.



This began the real journey. Yes...the journey where Mandie finds Mandie. Where I learn how to take care of myself because now I am responsible for this little guy. He will be looking up to me. I want to show him that Momma can take care of herself as well as him. So now enters the new Mandie! I'm kicking butt and taking names. The boy toy continues to try and screw up my life (yes even to this day!), but the little guy (who becomes the big boy later) and I are doing GREAT on our own!!! Amazingly I'm down to my LOWEST ever to 155 (Spring of 06) ! WOWOW! I am on fire happy. For once I feel I really know what I'm doing, and really doing!!!! Exercising and eating RIGHT, making myself and my baby happy... who cares I'm a single Momma...I'm doing 100x better without the boy toy!!! I am beyond thankful that I've finally gotten my life on the right track and I'm doing a pretty good job of raising my son!


Then lo and behold the Hunney and I match up! This is truly like the sunshine after the rain. I can't even begin to tell you how different and how wonderful this guy is to me and my son. WOW! I haven't felt happiness like this ... well ... ever! We fall in love...and of course my weight stops, but at least it maintains. I'm comfortable...and oh so happy. THANKFUL.



In August 2006 I find myself pregnant again. WOW! I think the weightloss had to do with LOTS for my body!!! We're not so sure what to think and feel about this pregnancy, since we are a new couple...but we accept it. We end up having a rough patch...but again, we're a fresh couple...but very much in love. Guess who stopped caring about eating right and exercising? Yeah...me! I was so afraid I'd have another miscarriage...so I stopped working out immediately. And slowly but surely I started eating all those "bad" foods all again. I gain about 60lbs with the pregnancy and end up delivering another beautiful bouncing baby boy (5/7/07) weighing in at 213lbs. How thankful I was to again be blessed by God to be responsible for this little guy!!! I can't even express the gratitude and happiness I felt.


After my little guy comes, you can bet Momma is more than motivated to lose the weight again!!! Once the Dr gave me the okay I started working out, got a personal trainer, and really went to town! In August 2007 the Hunney proposed to me, and then I was even more determined to get that baby weight off!! We were going to become a family!!! I have never felt more thankful...wow! The guy of my dreams is going to be mine!!! I am cranking it now!




In March 2008, I got down to my pre-pregnancy LOW weight of 155 and we headed to Vegas and got married! When we returned from Vegas I ran my first ever 5k, and then my wonderful husband let me have a girls night out less than a month after our wedding...and I was on cloud 9!





Unfortunately in June 2008 our home was flooded. We had to demolish the house and start fresh. It was a LONG 10 months...and we spent it in my parents basement. It tested our marriage, our faith, but we came out ahead. We have never been more thankful for where we are now.


Well, you can imagine how tough, stressful and out of whack I went living with my parents. It was their family of 4 (my brother and his son plus my parents) and then my family of 4 all under 1 roof. Let's just say it was the toughest thing I've yet to endure. Cooking for 8 sometimes 9 and 10 when my step son would be there and my brothers other son...gulp!

Well, during these stressful times I regained 20'ish lbs. But I'm happy to report I'm back on the road again. We have been in our new home a little over 7 months. FINALLY I'm settled, and have finally found that path again. It was tough...but I'm here and more than ready to get to goal. In September I went back to Vegas when my girlfriend got married. After seeing those pictures helped me realize how I had let myself go. I'm thankful those pictures opened my eyes....because had they not, I'm afraid it was the start of where I had already been. And I swore to myself I would never get there again. I have 2 children that NEED me. They need to look up to me. And they NEED me to be healthy....

I'm in the yellow dress

So there you have it. How I got to where I am.... It becomes real clear to me when I write this where I let myself go and why. It's unfortunate. But I have the opportunity to take charge in my life and make it better. With the kiddos in my life it makes it easier. I know they depend on me.

Thanks for reading if you read this far!! WOWZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ouch!

That's right...OUCH! I'm aching ALL over today. It feels awesome. Yes, I just said that! I LOVE feeling this, well not actually the pain, but knowing what I'm doing is WORKING! Ouch - I just moved. Oooh, and don't make me laugh either - ouch. :)

Last night was tball practice. I hadn't premade dinner (bad idea)...so we didn't eat before heading out. Although, it's not like we get home in time to do much. It's basically changing the boys clothes, getting sippy cups ready, gathering equipment, hollering at the boys to come on...we've GOT to go! So, anyway... practice gets out at 7:30. By the time we roll back in the house it's almost 8! The boys go to bed at 8. Umm...dinner's not ready yet, or even started! Needless to say they had Spaghettio's and hot dogs (I know, what sorts of things am I teaching my kiddos?!). They played for a bit while I fixed a new recipe courtesy of the hungry-girl, put that in the oven...and then they got ready for bed. After the bedtime ritual of reading books, singing songs, back tickeling, hubby and I sat down to eat our meal. As we were eating we were thinking maybe we should wait until AFTER the workout. Good thinking...but too late now. We gave our tummy's about 30 - 45 mins to rest before we cranked out Day 2 of P90X - Plyometrics... the mother of all X workouts! Gulp...yeah, we should have waited to eat dinner...because every jump I wondered if I could handle it with all that was sitting in my belly! haha! Plyometrics is a jump training... and holy smokes was it a lot of jumping!! But, we did it...we survived day 2! Way to go us!!

So tonight is shoulders and arms...and I'm thinking how am I going to be able to do this...as I'm still so sore from the chest and back workout!!! By the way, I skipped a cardio workout at the gym today. I'm just not feeling it ... OUCH is about all I'm feeling!!!!

Eating is good...but again I worry about my connection with WW. I mean, it's been drilled in my head "Eat less, move more". And P90X wants you to eat more. According to X I should eat about 1800 calories (GULP!), and that would be way over the points for me. Yesterday I consumed 25pts which was about 1400 calories. 25pts is above my 21 daily allowance, but with the exercise I'm going to think it weighs out about right (yeah, did I tell you I did cardio kickboxing on my lunch hour yesterday too?!). I'm going to give it a few weeks and see if I need to tweak this even more. Because I'm not eating enough calories for the X, but I'm over in points. So...we shall see.

Okay...Day 3 here we come....

Fighting the Fat

Greetings! This is my official first blog post. Little nervous, since I'm not a very creative writer, but the purpose and goal of the blog is for ME...to help me finally get rid of this fat.

A little history....

Weight Watchers on and off since 1995. My all time highest weight was 233. PUKE. After having my first child, and leaving the father I dropped 60+lbs. I met my husband, got pregnant, gained a bunch of weight again. After his birth I got back on WW and have lost 48lbs. I'm about 30lbs from my goal.

The past year has been a struggle though. I work out HARD 5 times/week, but still the weight sticks on. I think that the culprit is my pathetic attempt of WW. Not weighing, measuring, and journaling REALLY makes a difference. So now I'm working hard to change that. I'm hoping to push myself and see that fat finally gone by July!!!