Mad...no more to say

I start...again. Frustrated, mad, discouraged, depressed with myself. But I never stop trying. Today ... as always, I start over. Day 1.

Perfect 10 SW ~ 157.8
7/7/11 WI ~ 164
7/14/11 WI ~ None on vacation
7/21/11 WI ~ 165.2
7/28/11 WI ~ 164.8
8/4/11 WI ~ 167.4 (WTH?!!)

Dear God, hear my plea...hear my cries. I do not want to go this way. What is wrong with me? Can you please help me get back on the right track, hold my hand - pick me up and carry me, as I'm so hurting right now. I want to lose weight, not gain it! Thank you Lord...in Jesus name I pray...Amen

Today that stops

Every weigh day comes with dread because I know I haven't done my best. Today that stops. I managed to lose .2 lb, after a big 4lb gain last week. When I try and figure out what the heck is wrong with me, WHY, knowing how unhappy I am with my weight, I draw a blank. Today that stops. Weekends have always been the blame, but when the weigh day has changed to later in the week and you still have a crappy weigh in, weekends aren't the only things messing me up. Today that stops.

Today I restart Weight Watchers (the old points). In the past I have lost 75lbs. I'm up 10lbs from my lowest, and gradually that 10lbs has creeped on. I have been focusing on calories, using sparkpeople, making sure my protein intake has been good. Today though I will still use sparkpeople for support, encouragement, I will restart my paper journals for WW. IT WORKS for me!!! I don't know why the calorie counting DOES NOT...but it honestly just DOES NOT.

Today I make that commitment to change. I will still eat healthy clean foods, watch my protein intake, and exercise like I have been (and more)... but today I feel comfortable knowing I will succeed with WW.

Perfect 10 SW ~ 157.8
7/7/11 WI ~ 164 (BLAH)